Saturday, February 22, 2014

Things better left unsaid

We have been fooled to walk the hallowed hallways of our youths thinking that we've made it, to slave away for grades that are measures of how important we will be, to take action as if they will matter years from now, to boast of our achievements and claim that we've made progress. When, in fact, the hallways are as cold and sterile as when you first walked them, and just as long. The whitewashed walls are full of meaningless doorways and shelves of medals that are mere distractions, because the real question is, is there anything on the other side of the hallway?

The world has always been too big, too crowded and so it is easy for us to believe the things and people who make us feel significant. We have been taught that we can do anything if we try hard enough, when really, this is the mantra of the privileged. My friends at home who could not afford tertiary education overseas, those who are smarter and work harder than I do, I will have an unfair advantage over them anyway. Me with my fancy branded degree. They will never have a real shot in this world where opportunities are about as abundant as undergrowth in the desert. The truth is, we live in a supremely unjust world. There's no equality of opportunity, not in the real sense, and effort does not translate into results when it comes to the things that matter. My friends at home continue to toil while I suck shamelessly on my silver spoon. And what of the privileged? Only a handful make it anyway, and they are, more often than not, not the ones who have tried the hardest.

We are all alone. It is a scary thought to entertain, that we are alone. That, ultimately, the hallways we walk individually cross but do not converge. That we have been lied to. No one really cares that you're passionate and don't mind working long hours. The world moves because people are acting in their own self-interest.

I didn't want to come home last night. I didn't want to deal with all this work. I'm tired, but I know I can come back fighting if only I knew something was waiting at the end of the hallway. But I did come home, I still don't know, and the world goes on in spite of me.

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